The Federal Egg Answering Room Friday, August 29, 2003

This on a light-rail train between Bayonne and Jersey City, New Jersey:

When Ian left, Guy brooded about the antithesis between the acceptance of sacrifice and the will to win. It seemed to have personal relevance, as yet undefined, to his own condition. He reread the letter from his father which he carried always in his pocketbook. "The Mystical Body doesn't strike attitudes or stand on its dignity. It accepts suffering and injustice...Quantitative judgments don't apply."

I write about religion a lot here, and it occurs to me how strange it must be for people who know me. I don't think I've said a hundred words to most of my friends about what I believe. I commented on this before: This blog is partially a forum to let people know there's more going on upstairs than whining about work and jokes about poles (upper- and lower-case). Still, I'm concerned that this all comes off as tedious and more than a little pretentious. To remedy that, I offer a song from a sporadically hilarious movie:

Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka..
You're a cock sucking, ass licking Uncle Fucka..
You're an Uncle Fucka, yes it's true..
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!

Shut YOUR fucking face, Uncle Fucka..
You're the one that fucked your uncle, Uncle Fucka..
You don't eat or sleep, or mow the lawn..
Just fuck your uncle all day long!

[farting] Hmm.. [more farting] hahahaha!
Canadian Man: What's going on hyah?
[more farting]

Fucka Fucka, Uncle Fucka Uncle Fucka Uncla Fucka..
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!
You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucka!
You're an Uncle Fucka, I must say..
You fucked your uncle yesterday!
Uncle fucka, thats U, N, C, L, E, fuck, you
Uncle Fuckaaaaaaa.. suck my balls.

Whereupon Larry Hart and Johnny Mercer begin burrowing toward the Earth's core like Bugs Bunny ("Pismo Beach!"). But maybe Irving Berlin would've liked it. As he once savaged Cole Porter:

You're the burning heat
Of a bridal suite
In use,
You're the breasts of Venus
You're King Kong's penis
You're self-abuse!

Gotta run. I'll leave you with the headline of an e-mail I received this morning:


Reporter openings in China and Korea for the Far Eastern Economic Review

Sounds like a plan!

@ 9:51:00 AM,

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