Prince Spaghetti Day Wednesday, September 17, 2003

An age-old mystery solved! A friend at the office passed this along to me moments ago. I read on, baffled, until I came to the following paragraph (the story's about a big weird playwright):

Yet Innaurato-as-playwright has always seemed to be anticipating his own (Catholic, operatic) martyrdom. Just look at the titles of his plays: Passione (Italian family reunites, compares attempted suicides, with fat daughters-in-law and lots of food), Benno Blimpie (500-pound youth eats himself to death), the low-cal Ulysses in Traction (drama students are trapped in the theater during a race riot). Gemini, his sole hit, was his most baldly commercial effort -- zero mutilation, self or otherwise. Anyone who watched New York late-night TV can remember the Gemini ad's two indelible lines: "Take human bites!" and "No thank you, Fran, I'll just pick." Plus a 16-year-old fat kid riding around and around on a trike (that's Herschel). It was as ubiquitous (and loud) as Crazy Eddie.

Ding ding! I had been talking to him about my near-death experience at my own wedding. Mrs. WTJ, with a face that launched a thousand ships, was putting a piece of cake in my mouth, to the astonishment of all present, when a certain friend shouted out, "TAKE HUMAN BITES!"

I laughed and gagged, and literally spent two years trying to remember where the hell that line came from. Not even the certain friend remembered. Now everything is wonderful. Ronzoni sonno bonni!

@ 9:29:00 AM,

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